I'll look out for you

Until the day I die, or I rot

Even then, I will

Push my way to the 

surface, and hope I find you

I am here again.

Don't worry, I sill

Have your picture in my coat.

Bugs ate the corners

Why don't you believe,

That joe pressed against the glass

Smearing blood all over?

I was bitten here

In the car where Joe grabbed me

and pulled me closer

I thought he wanted

To tell me a secret that

Only he would know

Instead he put his

Mouth to my neck, and bit down

As hard as he could

I said, "get off Joe."

"You're hurting me," face bloody

He got off, I cried.

Time is running out

Joe moved a little too fast.

Now he has my heart.

In his hands, it beats

I can't feel anything now

A rush consumes me.

I am feeling numb

With a hole in my chest, bare

Wanting love and brains

-Erica

ZOMBIE HAIKU #7

Can zombies climb trees?

Firefighters aren't sure.

The Cat is done for.

Ominous music

Silhouettes moving in smoke

Thriller dancing scene

I brush the dirt off

Vines wrapped around my ribs

Pull them from the root

I see you dressed up

I pick the flower off me

My cage opens wide

Bones fall to the ground

My no longer beating heart

Hangs on by a vain

I reach out to you

Flower in hand, heart falls out

You can have that too.

-Erica

ZOMBIE MUSICAL

Here it is: I Eat My Feelings: The Zombie Musical!

-Erica 

INTERNET POETRY #1

From "Poems of depressing frustration:"

Dislexic

I am dislexic and high on drugs
I am innocent and full of love
deception and despair
without them
i am without care
i have a reason
allthought i am unsure
i think its my season
i think its a cure

Purple Cow Poem

knock knock
who are you
knock knock
moo
what are you doing
i can't understand
who are you
what are you man
i am my dreams
and so it would seem
i think i am glad
i think i have had
a good deal
a great day
being a cow
i have to graze
the grass is purple
and so you will know
i am the purple cow
you will know where i go

PHD

I have a phd
i study something different
i study philosophy
i study the way you study me
so what is my name
and what will i change
does it matter
is it true
i've been told a lie
its my fault
is it my fault
i trusted you

All of the above were written by someone named "aaron," who runs the site WWW.NEW NAVY.U$ and who feels extremely passionate about nuclear submarines, cheese, Jesus, the Moon, and myriad others. Here's his "12 step recovery program:"

1. get out of the navy (any possible way, multiple links from this site)
2. lie to people for personal advancement (you are only offsetting what others have done for you)
3. buy a computer
4. install dreamweaver mx
5. build a web site
6. make anti navy t shirts
7. advertise
8. eat cheese
9. buy mace
10. challenge broken system
11. repair broken system
12. run for office

"rape kill murder and pillage, EAT DONUTS <--- notice these are not part of my program" Amen. Fortunately, poetry is part of all of our programs.

-Matt

ZOMBIE HAIKU #6

Stolen Zombie Lyrics

I'm your zombie man.

I know I'm just a creature,

Brought back from the dead.

Stolen Zombie Lyrics 2

You turn to me, smile;

"You're my best zombie friend."

I won't let this end...

Fashionable

Maggot eaten clothes

Leaves and twigs and dirt and seeds

Blood-splattered hand prints

(c) Riley Ziesig 

The Living and the Dead

Rotting flesh, park bench,

Birds chirping, daisies and bees

Juxtaposition 

Rush Hour

Cars beeping, lights change,

Zombies blocking traffic; jam,

Cars beeping, lights change.

Love-Sick

Falling rose petals

Flesh is peeling, flaking off

And she loves me not. 

-Erica 

ZOMBIE HAIKU #4

The Bird and the Deceased

I had an itch on

My head, I scratched, released hair

A clump in my hand

A bird landed here

Stole some hair to make a nest

Hunger consumed me

No shelter was made

But I subsided my need

Only for a sec

An Oscar Winning Song

So many choices

It's hard out here for zombies

Give me everyone

Fragile

"Guys let go of me."

This is a constant tug of war

My corpse ripped in half

Ewww

What is this liquid

Spewing from my mouth, nose

My jaw in my hand

SHOW #5 PLAY-BY-PLAY LIVE

1:58- arrive in studio, sing along with "This Is Halloween" from The Nightmare Before Christmas
2:01- start show playing "Summer Hair = Forever Young" by The Academy Is, don't know if equipment is working
2:02- Erica's transformation begins, but neither of us is aware of it... yet
2:03- Erica thinks there's something wrong with Matt
2:05- there's an intense "breeze"
2:08- say "great" at the same time and leave the air silent for about three seconds OOPS
2:10- Erica realizes she didn't turn the studio microphones down, so everyone could hear us asking why we couldn't hear the music and luckily not screaming "FUCKING SHIT CUNT"
2:11- listeners actually hear "Let it Roll" by All Time Low
2:13- Matt does an awful Australian Daniel Craig impression and says some risky things about Jews
2:15- play "Shut Up and Smile" by Bowling for Soup
2:17- Erica's transformation shows no physical signs, but there's a slight odor akin to old gazpacho floating around the studio
2:19- play "The Truth Is" by The Early November
2:20- Matt realizes that he will have to start live-blogging about live-blogging and hopes that he doesn't accidentally refer to himself in the third person on air, then realizes that he'll probably do whatever he writes down so he starts making a list:

• propose to Erica
• sing a song about poverty
• tell an embarrassing truth

He'll add more to the list later, he guesses.
2:22- Matt's lucky time! (His birthday is 2/22)
2:23- Erica mouths "I love you so much that it hurts" along with the song to Matt; uncomfortable silence abounds
2:25- Matt proposes to Erica, Erica says yes, but ruins the engagement by mentioning Easter, Matt gives her the rest of the show to win his heart back
2:27- new segment: What's the Matter with America on What's the MATTer with AmERICA; we give three stories: one about Skinheads who killed 88 black people being jailed only after plotting to assassinate Obama, one fictional one about a man who killed himself in Dubai, and one about a boy in Massachussets who shot himself in the head with an uzi
2:29- Matt asks Erica "What IS the Matter with America?" her response: "Wild."
2:30- Dr. Pepper is apprently NOT a racist
2:32- play "Burn this City" by Cartel
2:34- Erica tranformation update: Matt can feel something small wrapping around his legs, he looks down and sees nothing, his thoughts go to the wandering janitor
2:36- play "Head Up" by Sugarcult
2:37- Erica finds a love note in the studio, from one vague party to another
2:38- Matt finds a love note in his heart
2:39- janitor finds a love note in a bottle of whiskey
2:41- Matt reads some of Erica's Zombie haiku
2:44- Matt actually sings/raps a song about poverty and Pop-Tarts
2:45- Matt shares an embarrassing story about freestyling
2:47- talk about the Evil Dead trilogy
2:49- play "Out of My Way" by Damone
2:51- Erica is nearly half-transformed, yet still unaware of her new body
2:52- play "Stay Out" Hit the Lights
2:54- MY GOD A WEASEL IN THE STUDIO IT'S IN OUR CLOTHES
2:55- siiiiiiiiike nah
2:56- Matt laughs without smiling
2:57- Matt makes Mario/monkey sounds
2:58- Matt does more stupid shit, probably
2:59- sing "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi, sort of
2:59- play "Endlessly Covered by Kyle Patrick
3:00 Erica realizes what she's transforming into: an egret
3:02- play "Getaways Turned Holidays" by Meg and Dia
3:03- more promises:

• speak French
• play 3 sound effects in a row
• premiere new segment: "How Do You Know You're Listening to WtMwA?"

3:05- Matt and Erica burp at the same time
3:05- decide that there's a Bizarro version of our show somewhere
3:06- French and faux-French mumblings
3:08- ways to tell you're listening to What's the Matter with America (and Matt talks about himself in the third person [he told you so!]):

• we mess up
• we talk about messing up
• Matt comes close to cursing/ruining the show
  
• you hear a song we meant to play later on in the show too early

3:10- practice saying "What Erica Woke Up with in Her Head this Morning"
3:12- play "Swim" by Jack's Mannequin
3:14- Erica's beak is developing nicely
3:16- play "Rooftops (The Liberation's Broadcast)" by Lostprophets
3:19- OK NOT MUCH ACTUALLY HAPPENS AT 3:19 THURSDAY MORNING SORRY
3:20- play "Shine On" by Needtobreathe
3:21- Matt starts to cry for no reason, accepts Erica's donation of new eyes
3:22- Erica says "IF I CAN'T WIN YOUR HEART BACK I'LL JUST STEAL IT OUT OF YOUR CHEST
3:23- more body problems: Erica's assymetrical collarbone bothers her
3:24- Erica discusses her Germanic-depressive episode
3:26- people keep passing by the door and freaking us the fuck out
3:27- thoughts about playing the whole of Ferris Bueller's Day Off for a show
3:28- play "Damn Regrets" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
3:30- Erica molts, gross
3:31- play "Existentialism on Prom Night" by Straylight Run
3:34- Erica finishes reading the live blog so far, Matt doesn't have the energy to post about reading about posting about talking
3:35- play "Brat Pack" by The Rocket Summer (Matt actually loves this song)
3:36- Matt and Erica can actually sing along with the same song, which is a first
3:37- realize that we have a lot more time than usual and decide to add in a song on the fly
3:39- play three sound effects, come up with story about children cheering about exploding clowns
3:40- Erica perpetuates myths about Matt
3:41- mention Richard "Douchebag" Dawkins
3:42- play added song: "I'm a Ghost" by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
3:44- Erica lays an egg (what could be inside?)
3:46- Matt falsettos and no one hears him
3:47- play "Jump" by Simple Plan
3:48- Oh no! There's a spill! But who will save us? Where's the janitor?!
3:49- Who's that mystery man? It's... It's... SUPER JANITOR (his cape is made out of coffee filters)
3:50- Super Janitor is kind of a dick
3:51- play "Stay Young" by We the Kings
3:52- turn down the lights, hot hot action or something
3:53- Erica forgets she's supposed to win Matt's heart back
3:54- Erica apologizes, the wedding is back on, hooray
3:55- end the show with "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance
3:57- the egg hatches into an "R"
3:58- "R" + "egret" = Regret!
3:59- bird of regret flies away
4:00- we're done!