THINGS MATT ENJOYS (AND THINKS YOU SHOULD FEEL HOWEVER YOU WANT ABOUT THEM, BUT COME ON, THEY'RE PRETTY GREAT)

1. hip-hop


2. indie Flash games

3. cartoon particles

4. Krampus

5. things that Erica likes

-Matt

OH NO IS THIS PERSONAL

In case you didn't know, my mom, one Stephanie Lurie, now works at Hyperion Books, Disney's official book publishing house. According to her, there are LCD screens mounted on every wall, each one playing WALL-E in a constant loop. Employees must take mandatory vacations to Disney World every few months and get through the doors for free. Also, the reanimated corpse of Disney himself serves them gold-encrusted Bambi steak on a plate made of Jew bones, as old Walt would have wanted.

But—oh-ho!—that is not all, dear blog reader! Indeed, there is more than meets the eye:

[via]

These scans recently popped up in a Japanese hobby magazine. My hope is that it's not a toy, but a fully-functional truck. Or at least a fully-functional mouse.

In case that's not cool enough for you:

[via]

That's my mom!

-Matt

SHOW #5 PLAY-BY-PLAY LIVE

1:58- arrive in studio, sing along with "This Is Halloween" from The Nightmare Before Christmas
2:01- start show playing "Summer Hair = Forever Young" by The Academy Is, don't know if equipment is working
2:02- Erica's transformation begins, but neither of us is aware of it... yet
2:03- Erica thinks there's something wrong with Matt
2:05- there's an intense "breeze"
2:08- say "great" at the same time and leave the air silent for about three seconds OOPS
2:10- Erica realizes she didn't turn the studio microphones down, so everyone could hear us asking why we couldn't hear the music and luckily not screaming "FUCKING SHIT CUNT"
2:11- listeners actually hear "Let it Roll" by All Time Low
2:13- Matt does an awful Australian Daniel Craig impression and says some risky things about Jews
2:15- play "Shut Up and Smile" by Bowling for Soup
2:17- Erica's transformation shows no physical signs, but there's a slight odor akin to old gazpacho floating around the studio
2:19- play "The Truth Is" by The Early November
2:20- Matt realizes that he will have to start live-blogging about live-blogging and hopes that he doesn't accidentally refer to himself in the third person on air, then realizes that he'll probably do whatever he writes down so he starts making a list:

• propose to Erica
• sing a song about poverty
• tell an embarrassing truth

He'll add more to the list later, he guesses.
2:22- Matt's lucky time! (His birthday is 2/22)
2:23- Erica mouths "I love you so much that it hurts" along with the song to Matt; uncomfortable silence abounds
2:25- Matt proposes to Erica, Erica says yes, but ruins the engagement by mentioning Easter, Matt gives her the rest of the show to win his heart back
2:27- new segment: What's the Matter with America on What's the MATTer with AmERICA; we give three stories: one about Skinheads who killed 88 black people being jailed only after plotting to assassinate Obama, one fictional one about a man who killed himself in Dubai, and one about a boy in Massachussets who shot himself in the head with an uzi
2:29- Matt asks Erica "What IS the Matter with America?" her response: "Wild."
2:30- Dr. Pepper is apprently NOT a racist
2:32- play "Burn this City" by Cartel
2:34- Erica tranformation update: Matt can feel something small wrapping around his legs, he looks down and sees nothing, his thoughts go to the wandering janitor
2:36- play "Head Up" by Sugarcult
2:37- Erica finds a love note in the studio, from one vague party to another
2:38- Matt finds a love note in his heart
2:39- janitor finds a love note in a bottle of whiskey
2:41- Matt reads some of Erica's Zombie haiku
2:44- Matt actually sings/raps a song about poverty and Pop-Tarts
2:45- Matt shares an embarrassing story about freestyling
2:47- talk about the Evil Dead trilogy
2:49- play "Out of My Way" by Damone
2:51- Erica is nearly half-transformed, yet still unaware of her new body
2:52- play "Stay Out" Hit the Lights
2:54- MY GOD A WEASEL IN THE STUDIO IT'S IN OUR CLOTHES
2:55- siiiiiiiiike nah
2:56- Matt laughs without smiling
2:57- Matt makes Mario/monkey sounds
2:58- Matt does more stupid shit, probably
2:59- sing "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi, sort of
2:59- play "Endlessly Covered by Kyle Patrick
3:00 Erica realizes what she's transforming into: an egret
3:02- play "Getaways Turned Holidays" by Meg and Dia
3:03- more promises:

• speak French
• play 3 sound effects in a row
• premiere new segment: "How Do You Know You're Listening to WtMwA?"

3:05- Matt and Erica burp at the same time
3:05- decide that there's a Bizarro version of our show somewhere
3:06- French and faux-French mumblings
3:08- ways to tell you're listening to What's the Matter with America (and Matt talks about himself in the third person [he told you so!]):

• we mess up
• we talk about messing up
• Matt comes close to cursing/ruining the show
  
• you hear a song we meant to play later on in the show too early

3:10- practice saying "What Erica Woke Up with in Her Head this Morning"
3:12- play "Swim" by Jack's Mannequin
3:14- Erica's beak is developing nicely
3:16- play "Rooftops (The Liberation's Broadcast)" by Lostprophets
3:19- OK NOT MUCH ACTUALLY HAPPENS AT 3:19 THURSDAY MORNING SORRY
3:20- play "Shine On" by Needtobreathe
3:21- Matt starts to cry for no reason, accepts Erica's donation of new eyes
3:22- Erica says "IF I CAN'T WIN YOUR HEART BACK I'LL JUST STEAL IT OUT OF YOUR CHEST
3:23- more body problems: Erica's assymetrical collarbone bothers her
3:24- Erica discusses her Germanic-depressive episode
3:26- people keep passing by the door and freaking us the fuck out
3:27- thoughts about playing the whole of Ferris Bueller's Day Off for a show
3:28- play "Damn Regrets" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
3:30- Erica molts, gross
3:31- play "Existentialism on Prom Night" by Straylight Run
3:34- Erica finishes reading the live blog so far, Matt doesn't have the energy to post about reading about posting about talking
3:35- play "Brat Pack" by The Rocket Summer (Matt actually loves this song)
3:36- Matt and Erica can actually sing along with the same song, which is a first
3:37- realize that we have a lot more time than usual and decide to add in a song on the fly
3:39- play three sound effects, come up with story about children cheering about exploding clowns
3:40- Erica perpetuates myths about Matt
3:41- mention Richard "Douchebag" Dawkins
3:42- play added song: "I'm a Ghost" by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
3:44- Erica lays an egg (what could be inside?)
3:46- Matt falsettos and no one hears him
3:47- play "Jump" by Simple Plan
3:48- Oh no! There's a spill! But who will save us? Where's the janitor?!
3:49- Who's that mystery man? It's... It's... SUPER JANITOR (his cape is made out of coffee filters)
3:50- Super Janitor is kind of a dick
3:51- play "Stay Young" by We the Kings
3:52- turn down the lights, hot hot action or something
3:53- Erica forgets she's supposed to win Matt's heart back
3:54- Erica apologizes, the wedding is back on, hooray
3:55- end the show with "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance
3:57- the egg hatches into an "R"
3:58- "R" + "egret" = Regret!
3:59- bird of regret flies away
4:00- we're done!

WE'RE DOIN' IT LIVE

We are live blogging. Video games are fun. Boy howdy.

-Erica

HEY COOL ANOTHER BLOG YOU GUYS

Only three weeks after its inception, What's the MATTer with AmERICA has already grown a small, but unsightly blog! (Please don't bring it up in front of her, you know how radio shows get.) For our friends who can't bear to stay up into hobo-haunting (or hunting) hours, there is now this convenient blemish on the face of the Internet. We'll be writing about the show mostly, but the real beauty of a blog is that it's pointless and self-absorbed, so you'll probably get a lot more of this. Hopefully, we won't get too link-happy and post any arbitrary picture we find, but then maybe you're into that kind of thing. Post a comment or let us know so we can get down to the nasty.

-WtMwA

PS- I hope this doesn't end up here.