WTMWAMTVO

That's "What's the MATTer with AmERICA Music Televison Online" or Wu-tim-wam-teevo.
Three mostly-animated videos today:

Subtle- "The Mercury Craze"

Final Fantasy- "The Butcher"


Röyksopp- "Remind Me"

-Matt

SHOW #6 WRAP-UP

Boy Howdy,

Or,
The Sixth Episode of What's the MATTer With AmERICA
A One-Act Play

It's a cold November morn, but not inside the WECB studio where MATT and ERICA are hard at work, inventing "Dentist Tennis."
MATT, rubbing his brow: There! Our robot son is complete. I'll name him "Dentist Tennis."
ERICA: Cool.
M: He's also a sport! Isn't that right, sport?
DENTIST TENNIS, dentist-like: BZZT- FIFTEEN, LOVE
M: We love you too.
E: Hey, can he fix my tooth? She pulls a rat out of the back of her mouth.
M: It's worth a try! He throws it in DT's mouth
DT: TOOTH DOES NOT COMPUTH He explodes.
E: Cool.
Suddenly, MANAGEMENT opens the door and enters the studio.
MANAGEMENT: You guys are canceled.

M + E: MGMT:
All: Boy howdy!

Fin

If you missed the show, you missed:

• Caffeinated Matt Lurie
• Burping Erica Hill
• Rabid fox-bearing woman
• Young MC and Humpty Hump rap-a-longs
• Overall DJ irresponsibility
• Good times

Also, as promised:

Lasagna Cat


Show Me Your Genitals

-Us

PS- We'll get back to you on what we played.

PPS- Courtesy of the Onion:

SHOW #6

So now that the election's over, there's nothing left for you to worry about. No, none of our country's problems have actually gone away, but you're safe with the knowledge that Saviorbama will fix all of that with his multi-racial magic.

But for some reason, you're still anxious. Why? From whence comes this inescapable feeling of dread, this swarthy sea of trepidation? Was it that hobo you accidentally made skin contact with? Is is that banana you left in a suitcase last used four months ago? Are people talking about Beanie Babies again?

No!* You just don't know What's the MATTer with AmERICA tonight! Well, maybe you do (probably more than us), but you're still wondering what excuse to share embarrassingly personal stories and somewhat obscure songs Erica and Matt will give tonight. Well, tonight's theme is...

MUSIC

That's right, we're breaking new ground and doing a show during which we do a show. That draft around the back of your head? Yeah, it's because your MIND'S JUST BEEN BLOWN SUCKA

-Us (or U.S., if you want to keep doing this far-fetched pun thing, which you do; shut up, yes you do, take it like a man)

*We are not held accountable for your nebulous and profound inner fear.

OH MY STARS AND GARTERS IT'S

Alkulukuja Paskova Karhu, the Prime Number Shitting Bear!

Sometimes, when browsing the Internet, I'll open a website in a new tab and promptly forget about it. Sometimes that tab will be open all day. Sometimes I'll keep my computer's sound muted while I'm out.

But only once have I returned to my computer, turned the volume back up, and listened to the fartacular sound of endless prime number shitting for ten minutes without being able to find the culprit. Today was that one time.

Still, I can't stay mad at something so mathematical. I mean, look at those unilateral eyes. Don't you just want one of your own? What? You don't? Well, how about this:
YEAH I BET YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO THE NERDY NUMBER BEAR NOW HUH

Jerks.

-Matt

ZOMBIE HAIKU #4

The Bird and the Deceased

I had an itch on

My head, I scratched, released hair

A clump in my hand

A bird landed here

Stole some hair to make a nest

Hunger consumed me

No shelter was made

But I subsided my need

Only for a sec

An Oscar Winning Song

So many choices

It's hard out here for zombies

Give me everyone

Fragile

"Guys let go of me."

This is a constant tug of war

My corpse ripped in half

Ewww

What is this liquid

Spewing from my mouth, nose

My jaw in my hand

DO YOU FEEL UNEASY?

-Erica

THIS IS MY DUDE

And here's Prawn, Frouty, and Fuck That:
These are some of the lovable results possible when you turn your name into a face. The website certainly speaks for itself, but there are a couple things worth pointing out. First, the site's domain is somewhere in Germany, which, if you look at the sinister and placid expressions on these namefaces, makes a lot of sense. Second, the algorithm for determining face makeup is pretty weird. For example:

"B" is your average German alleyway thug:

"Bu" is a little older, lavenderer:

"But" apparently likes a lot of caffeine in his "t:"

"Butt" wants to vomit that extra "t":

And "Butts" is, well, a robot:

Of course. Look out for the next post: "turning your face into a name!"

-Matt

PS- I think that "Butts is a robot" is something I've always secretly wanted to write.

PPS- Speaking of Germany, did you know that Heidi Klum destroys more than the hopes of bad fashion designers?